If I was a girl

If I Was a Girl


By Jenny on Thursday, February 7, 2019

If I was a girl, how would my life be?

The first thing to mention is my new girl name. I’d be called Jennifer, not Jef, but I’d go by Jenny. You see, as far as I know, my mother wanted girls and not boys. She hoped for an army of estrogen to sip hot cups of tea while enjoying hours of gossip about what’s on TV. However, in her determination to create two-X-chromosome creatures, she was gifted with boys, and not just one, but three. Three little boys and the second was me. But let’s not stop and continue to explore the girl version of me.

If I was a girl, I’d be forced to wear pink. Since I was raised during the pre-feminist movement, what other colors could it be? My parents are traditional, whatever that means, so girls must look girly and that’s how it would be. However, knowing who I am and the thoughts that shape me, I’d likely choose colors so my parents disagree.

If I was a girl, I’d play with the boys since girls are gossipy and make too much noise. I’d play with their toys and compete like the rest and I’d win all the time because I’m a girl, I’m best!


If I was a girl, I’d explore the sexy side of me. I’d flaunt my tits and my ass to convince boys to love and crave me. In the middle of the night, I’d pretend to feel, oh, so lonely. Then collect some dick picks to create a book for the world to see.

If I was a girl, how would my life be? Would I still be tall and have this creativity? Would I still be a slut and seduce boys to fuck me?

Well, as I look in my pants, I see what I see: I’m a boy, no, a man, wait, that’s illegal, I can’t be called “he”. What am I instead? A “they” or a “xe“?

Oh G-d, please correct this, it’s just so damn confusing for me….

Context: These past few days I discovered the teachings of Jordan B. Peterson, a Clinical Psychologist and Professor at the University of Toronto. After watching numerous videos on his YouTube Channel, I’ve recently learned about Bill C-16, which is a push to criminalize gender-based harassment by restricting language. According to this source, “[s]omeone with positive intentions could accidentally call someone by the wrong pronoun and could be accused of something as serious as a hate crime.”

In sincere honesty, this is an area of language and law is both strange and unknown to me. As a writer, I use words to explore the deep crevices of my life, my identity, and my meaning to be. I write this piece as a playful discourse that is both genuine and sarcastic while envisioning my life as a “girl”, which means to me, having the sexual capacity to reproduce and attract “hardened” men, eager to penetrate me.

Whatever you identify yourself to be, find courage and the sanctity to live and feel free.

Also, anyone who reads this blog regularly, thank you for dedicating a minute or three to reading my thoughts, experiences, and feelings. If you want to read a brilliant book that takes you deeper than the see, I think you would enjoy Jordan B. Peterson’s Best Selling Book: 12 Rules for Life — An Antidote to Chaos.

“…the soul of the individual eternally hungers for the heroism of genuine Being, and that the willingness to take on that responsibility is identical to the decision to live a meaningful life.”


Jef van de Graaf
Canadian Copywriter & World Traveler
Business | Travel Blog | Connect

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